Why single person is so hard to have a boyfriend? :the 7 reasons

 Single person is someone who is not in a relationship or is unmarried. I was single for long time like in my entire 24 years of existence in this world the same of my age now. It is already been 2 weeks that I am in relationship right now. I experienced asking myself before like why I do not have a boyfriend, also I tried having holiday boyfriend and yes even texting to someone, feeling in love but totally not (I think we humans just want to feel that belongingness to someone that feeling to be loved and in love at the same time). 

So here is some history why I can relate in your story. There was a time I am so in love to this man but end up only me loving him. If you tried giving some presents to a man well yes I do tried that but it is just doesn't work out. I also tried to pray as many as I can, there was one that I almost say yes to be in relationship but before I was about to told him he send me a message that he love someone else (ouch! yes, lucky not that so attached yet). There was also a time I confess in a message to like this man but of course just end up into stranger because yes he is not into me.

They said that people will always look for someone else just to feel that love. I love my family of course, I felt the love from them but I think we are the same thinking that we need that one person we want to share our lives with.

After all many attempts I want to be in relationship I decided to focus more in myself growth.I allow myself to graduate in my degree, allow myself to attend more seminars as I can to improve my knowledge, push myself to every possible limits as I can like I know I cannot paint but I try harder and finally make a piece that is the same to my thoughts, I work and earn money from my own and spend the money as I can, I also indulge myself into reading more books and running in a huge field to release anxiety and felt that seroting which is the hormones that makes you happy.

I have a family that is not perfect and witness the pitfalls on it. My sister is married and she always makes me her bin to all her broken hearted stories, I am opening all my ear and hearts to all that dramas of relationship to my friends- that conclude me "I will marry my own self, in relationship is totally a mess life. 

Of all that experiences I had and together my so dominant selfish world - I never expect to eat my own words in so unexpected time being. There is this day that I need a companion and I am so tired being alone.

On that day, I do not feel of going back home.There are many words  and thoughts bombing around my head that I badly need  a friend to talk with as these thoughts are making me feel so weak. It is true we do not know why there were those situation like that but it feels so right to follow that intuition.

After 2 days and 2 nights sleep in a city, 2 days and 1 night in a train, 1 night  in another city and a 6 hours bus trip- I found a hug I need.

That hug is really natural. It feels so comfort, warmth that it feels so home. I never hug that much with a great feeling ever before. Yes in Philippines it is so rare to get a hug when you are a teen and a super awkward when you are an adult. We usually get the hands of the older and put it in our forehead as a sign in respect. When I was working in a foreign place that is the time I found that hug is so common and the best hug I always love is from my mommy Liv who is used to be my manager before I call her that way. 

So yes I get this hug. We talked about what we are up now these days and talking all of the history of our friendship and even some shit stories until the stupid cupid hits us, maybe this time it is a blessing cupid (I believe so).

So, here are the top 7 reasons why single person is so hard to have a boyfriend?

1. You are used to be alone

- You are used to be alone in everything. You do not need someone else advice in all your decision because you just consider yourself and no one else. In relationship there should be giving and sharing, so it is really challenging. In a good way, this will make you grow as a human to be selfless. Also, it is not your fault since you are program to be like that for a long time.

2. You think you are always right

- You think you are all right in many ways as you experienced to try in your own way and it works- therefore if your partner suggesting something you do not take it and the worst case  is you think it is a threat of your own ego. Well who always want to feel right, it is not you-IT IS YOUR EGO. Get over of it, awareness is the key first.

3. Different likes and wants, singles wants to be with someone who are like them in all ways w/c is absolutely impossible

- This is one of the challenging to all couples out there for sure because at first you guys thought you are the same but later on you realized that YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT in all levels, it is only a love that makes a couple sticks together after knowing all that differences (now i understand why my mom  still sticks with my dad after hearing all the pitfalls). For example, your partner is vegetarian and you are not or maybe your partner is so sexual and you are not or your partner is so smart and you are not or your partner likes something and you are not. Plenty are those differences that makes you realize that if you love that person then you love that too or you try to love or like that even you are not really into it or in the other way around we call it respect. Perhaps somehow you may consider the word "You do not have to do this if you don't feel to do it", but considering "You are right" and take it as part of your growth and maturity might be also a best way to calm such situation like that.

4. The past is haunting you (here we go all the maybes that may occur)

- We always have past and sometimes it triggers us to argue and again it is only love that can embrace it all.

5. Money is an issue ,  Make your own money! (single person thinks its a threat to share his/her usual cost)

- Deep breathe for me as I am still applying a job now after I resigned to my recent work anyways  making your own money is really recommended because if you make your own money then you are not dependent in your partner and your partner will not feel you are so parasite to him. Loving is a condition in all ways, it's all about sharing so the other one will not feel so powerful and will balance the so called situation. It feels good too when you contribute too and not just rely to everything to someone else. It doesn't mean you are in relationship then you give up living and give up working on your own life.

6. Spending your time with your partner is a must. (single life?, alone is a heaven than being around with a dramatic friend, lol)

- Time or quality time is important in all ways in life. If you put time in anything, one day you will be rewarded, this quote is from my partner that I truly believe as I know everything starts in a little until it will be like explosive bomb that you cannot resist one day. Ooops, what I mean is time together like watching films together, cooking together, shopping together. I know this sounds ridiculous sometimes as you want watching kdrama but your partner is not into it- but I am sure you can watch a movie that you both like together.

7. Never forget yourself! ( the shouting ego to yourself, me me me me only me)

- Relationship will only bring you up or down. Sometimes we think giving our whole self in a relationship is love until one day you miss yourself. You miss your own space, you miss your doing things alone or that feeling of "I just listen myself ego". And that is the one reason in a single person why it is hard for them to have a boyfriend because they always have time to listen to their self ego alone which if they think too much about it and feed about it, it will totally fucked up the  relationship as sharing is not considered anymore.

If you choose to be in relationship so badly, feed first yourself all the wants and needs until you get tired of your own self and when you found someone -your wants becomes less and the acceptance of this other self will be whole and you will treasure it as you never had it before.  Thank you for reading X

Share some realizations or feedbacks? Feel free to drop your comments! Hoping my thoughts will help you somehow xx